I Masturbated With An Eggplant In My Own Home

“That’s too bad,” I said carefully. What are yousupposed to say to something like that? HEY, GIRL,I’LL SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE seemed kind of crude. “Have you ever had a problem like that?” she asked. “No,” I admitted, hoping it didn’t sound like I wasbragging. “In fact, I’m a little bit trigger-happy ifyou touch me in the right place.” “Maybe it’s just that no one has ever touched me inthe right place…” Her voice trailed off as sheglanced down at the floor, too shy to meet my gaze.Damn her, she was hinting! “If you want, I can check it out for you,” I said,still trying to sound like I didn’t care one way orthe other. “Or, if you feel uncomfortable aboutanother woman touching your body, I could just showyou how I play with myself . . . ” Anna was already zipping down my skirt. When sheyanked it to my ankles, I kicked it away. My. “And what is your question, Walter?”“I have five questions:”+First, “Why did the USA Bomb Libya without the support of the Congress?”+Second, “Why do you keep saying you fixed the economy when it’sactually gotten worse?”+Third, “Why did you say that Jeremiah Wright was your mentor, then said that you knew nothing about his preaching and beliefs?”+Fourth, “Why are we lending money to Brazil to drill for oil, butAmerica is not allowed to drill for oil?”+Fifth, “Who in the HELL traded 5 terrorists we captured that was our main source of Taliban information for one chicken shit deserter?”Just then, the bell rings for recess.Obama informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Obama says, “OK, where were we?Oh, that’s right: question time ... Who has a question?”Another little boy puts up his hand. Obama points him out and asks him his name.“Steve,” he responds.“And what is your question, Steve?”Actually, I have two questions.+First, “Why did the recess bell.
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